Gifts for a Best Friend Who Moved Away
When a best friend moves, the friendship does not end; the easy part of it does. No more dropping round, no sitting in the same kitchen with nothing planned. The usual goodbye gifts, a framed map of the old city or a mug with both cities on it, remember the old arrangement. The better gift sets up the new one: somewhere the two of you can still turn up without arranging it.
Make a house for them
See what it’s like
An evening in, from two cities.
Watered the plant. It misses you.
Cocktails at the terrace barPour the layers and see whose glass settles better. The finished glass stays on the bar until the next one is made.
Ideas to start with
Things to do there, and to leave there.
- Cocktails at the terrace bar
- A game of pairs
- The plant
- The coffee menu
Do it together
Things to do there together
Cocktails at the terrace bar
Pour the layers and see whose glass settles better. The finished glass stays on the bar until the next one is made.
A game of pairs
The memory game, played against each other, mostly for the argument afterwards.
The trampoline, up to the clouds
It goes higher than it should. Nobody needs a reason to use it.
Leave something
Notes to leave for them
“Watered the plant. It misses you.”
“Pool at nine, your time. Loser pays.”
“Left your drink on the bar.”
Make it yours
Ways to make it yours
The plant
Either of you can water it, once a day, and it grows a leaf for each day it is watered. It is a small, silent way of saying you were there.
The coffee menu
Write the menu at the coffee stand. When they order, you see what they had.
The old town on the globe
Pin the place you both lived, and the one they moved to, and leave the space between them for the visits.
Magnets on the fridge
Eight magnets, forty characters each, from either of you: the in-joke, the address, the thing you meant to say at the airport.
Why it works
A place, not a parcel.
Friendships between two cities rarely end in a falling-out. They thin out, because every catch-up needs a plan. A house the two of you share needs none: one of you waters the plant and the other notices; one leaves a note on the fridge and the other finds it. It keeps the unplanned part of a friendship going.
Complete the occasion
Other gifts that pair well
A key to your actual door
If they will be back to visit, a spare key on a ring says the sofa is still theirs.
The local things they will miss
The snack, the coffee, the paper from the corner shop, posted after they have settled in rather than before.
The first visit, booked
A date in both calendars before they leave does more than any gift to stop the gap from growing.
Questions
Before you begin.
Should I give it before or after they move?
Before, if you can. A key given at the goodbye means the first evening in a new city already has somewhere familiar in it.
What if we are both busy?
The house does not need a time set. Most of what is in it is left for the other to find, so a minute in passing still counts.
Can the rest of our friends join?
One key comes with the house, so it is a place for two. For the whole group, a book everyone adds a page to works better, and it can be sent to the friend who moved.
What does the house cost?
Nothing, during early access. Every room is free to try, with no sign-in, and keeping the house is free too, with the key. A house kept during early access stays free for as long as Gathered runs.
Another idea
A book from everyone who misses them.
When it is more than the two of you, send one link and let everyone add a page: a message on a painting, a voice note, a song, their photographs. Free to make, and free to send during early access.
Start a book See how the book worksGive them a key before they go
Make the house, put their name on the door and send the key with the goodbye. Try the terrace and the living room free first.
Make a house for them